“Truth is not something outside to be discovered, it is something inside to be realized.” — Osho
There are people who come into your life and challenge you in the best way—friends who don’t let you stay small, who hold up a mirror and help you see beyond the stories you’ve been telling yourself. For me, Aleisha is one of those people.
She’s been a friend who inspires me, stretches my perspective, and speaks truth in ways that are raw, confronting, and deeply liberating. I’ve asked her for a long time to let me share her words here, and when I received a recent voice note from her, I knew instantly: this needs to be a blog.
What follows are Aleisha’s reflections, shared in her unfiltered honesty. These words might challenge you, but they also hold powerful insights about trauma, truth, and what it means to actually live as your authentic self.
We Create Our Reality (But Not the Way You Think)
We’ve all heard the phrase: you create your reality. But Aleisha goes deeper:
“It’s not about surface-level positive thinking, or mantras or affirmations. It’s not about lying to yourself more. It’s about recognizing that your ego, your insecurities, your wounds—all of it—creates the lens through which you see the world and that lens is shaping your reality.”
Understanding this intellectually is one thing. But the deeper work, she explains, is unravelling all the patterns and beliefs that have been running your life since childhood. Between ages 0–7, our brains create scripts and rules to help us survive. Those old survival patterns become the “avatar” or “masks” or personality/identity we mistake for our true self.
Healing, then, is about letting go of those adaptive identities—peeling back what isn’t us—and learning how to live from truth, not fear.
You Are Not What Happened To You
Trauma leaves a mark, but Aleisha reminds us it does not define us:
“We actually aren’t what we’ve experienced. The more we identify with trauma or mental illness or even a career or role, the more fractured we become. That is not who you are. Those are things that happened to you, not your essence.
As hard as it is to hear, none of those things actually mean anything about you!”
Many people get stuck because they start to identify as their trauma. True healing requires recognizing: you are not broken. What you’re experiencing are normal human responses to unsafe, overwhelming events.
The Healing Process Isn’t Pretty—And That’s Okay
Aleisha calls out one of the biggest misconceptions about healing: it isn’t always about feeling better. It’s about feeling everything, without attaching a story to your emotional expression.
Healing is crying, raging, shaking, grieving—all the things that weren’t safe to feel at the time. Those feelings are suppressed in the body until we allow them to move through.
“The healing is the crying. The screaming. The shaking. The purging. Our bodies are so wise and have perfect healing mechanisms; what if emotional expression IS the bodies healing and if you can stay with the discomfort, this is how your body releases what was not safe to feel at the time of the event. (At that time you were unsafe you were surviving) and In the present moment, when you are actually safe, you can let it all unravel, you can feel it and process it and release it.”
This is why being seen, held, and supported in a safe space—is so vital. Healing doesn’t happen in isolation. It happens when we’re witnessed and held with compassion.
“Healing isn’t becoming someone new. It’s unbecoming everything you had to be just to survive.”
Coping vs. Truth
One of Aleisha’s most powerful reflections is about coping mechanisms.
She challenges the idea that a long list of wellness practices automatically equals healing. Sometimes, those routines—whether it’s the gym, meditation, green smoothies, or morning rituals—are just another way to survive.
“If you need a checklist of things every day to feel okay, that may just be survival but it’s socially accepted as ‘healthy’.
If you need to do all of these things in order to cope with your environment or survive your life; it would suggest you are not living in alignment or your truth.
Healing isn’t about coping—it’s about unraveling what’s underneath, letting go of all the shit that doesn’t actually matter and existing in truth, not just maintaining an illusion of stability.”
This perspective can feel confronting, but it’s also freeing. It invites us to examine whether our routines are supporting genuine growth or simply covering up pain or enabling us to avoid realities we are unwilling to face.
You Are Not Broken
Perhaps the most important message in Aleisha’s words is this:
“You are not broken. You’re having a perfectly normal response to fucked-up, unsafe experiences. The problem is not you—the problem is that our culture doesn’t understand what it means to be human, to heal, to create safety and to let go.”
Healing doesn’t mean fixing yourself. It means allowing yourself to be human, to feel, and to return to the truth of who you are beneath the survival strategies you adopted to survive.
Final Thoughts
Aleisha’s reflections are raw, challenging, and liberating. They remind us that healing isn’t about perfection or performance—it’s about presence, honesty, and learning how to exist in truth.
This isn’t easy work. It will confront your patterns, your coping mechanisms, the identities you’ve clung to and the lies you continue to tell yourself. But on the other side is freedom: the freedom of knowing you are not broken, you are not your trauma, and you are more than the story you’ve been telling yourself.
“Reality isn’t out there—it’s in here. Change the lens, and the whole world looks different.”
Connect With Aleisha
If Aleisha’s words resonate with you, you can connect with her work here:
- Instagram: @motherblooms.alms
- Podcast: Open Spotify Podcast with Bri
